Did you know that you can own and express your own reality?

Maybe this seems ridiculously obvious, but for me and so many of the clients I've worked with, it can be a challenge in our closer relationships.

I recently did an archetypal astrology session with the amazing Karen Hawkwood, and I can't stop thinking about something she told me. 

I don't know much about astrology, but according to my chart (and this lines up with my lived experience), she said I have a lot of push/pull within me.

"Are you coming? Out into the light? You who aren’t stone, but flesh? You who aren’t dead, but alive?"

How do you know if your younger self needs some attention?

I've noticed it often looks like inner conflict, feeling divided, or self-sabotaging. The desire to make amends to our younger self can also arise from a place of curiosity or compassion, of wanting to "check in" on those younger parts. 

In my editing work I'm often helping my clients to clarify—their story or a chapter or a paragraph.  But what if we can't?

So many of us feel as if we should be struggling less. We think… But I am in recovery! Or I have therapeutic tools and know better! Or I have a spiritual or mindfulness practice! Or I've read all the books! Therefore, I should be happier and "handling things."

A dear friend taught me a question for cutting through internal and external noise, for when I'm feeling stuck around a next step or decision, for when I'm overthinking and weighing too many angles and opinions.  

Here's the question in all its glory...

Last year I signed up for a consultation with the brilliant poet Lisa Fay Coultey to get some feedback on my poetry manuscript. Yay, I asked for help! 

But, even though I’m a fellow editor and I know how it works, I didn't really like the feedback I got, so I complained to a friend about it and then put Lisa's notes away and moved on.

I moved last month (still in Fort Collins, CO), and whew, moving is so hard. I've been tired and trying to rest more and trying to not judge myself for being so tired. Rather than fighting it (and probably prolonging it), I'm "caving early,” as Martha Beck says.

There are sooo many folks out on the trail this week. I'm just walking along and amazed at all the people running by! The collective energy of early January is an intoxicating time for those of us who love optimism and potential (me!). 

In life coaching, I love helping folks begin to taste what it looks like to trust themselves and this life (probably because this has been the deepest longing and work for myself as well). Trust changes everything, and in a world full of so much fear and mistrust, I've found that working with and generating trust is transformative and foundational work. 

I wanted to send out a love letter to any of you dreading the extra work involved in making the holidays "magical." 

First off, you're not alone

I like reading the newsletters from Hedgebrook, a woman-focused writing retreat center on Whidbey Island. A few months ago the director of Hedgebrook, Kimberly Wilson, was talking about labor and magic and it really stuck with me. She wrote…

In 2019 I took my younger self on a silent retreat as a way of making amends. I told my younger self that I wanted to hang out with her during the retreat and get to know her (she was thrilled and floored).

It ended up being four magical days of self-compassion, a kind of living amends as they call it in 12-step groups. And it's something I now practice often.

I was at the library the other day and I had a flashback of being there when my kids were young. They are now thirteen and sixteen, but for those younger years we made a lot of trips to the library. 

Back then there were so many days when I faced the tension of their desire for growth and autonomy—to do it themselves!—and yet so many things weren’t safe or they created huge messes for me or they just weren't really able to do it and they would get frustrated trying. 

I was on the hunt for the perfect planner for years. I also thought if I could just find the right clock with the perfect alarm, that might solve everything, too. Ha!

I thought my problems were poor time management and organization, that I just needed to be more disciplined.